Sharing Words with Sith

It was a dreary, overcast day, but the gray skies did little to cut the heat that permeated the air. Even the rain falling throughout the gardens was light and warm that day.

The memorial gardens were closer to the temple district, and so, if she had no business elsewhere, it was more likely for the silver sith-makar to take a break there, though still a rare occurrence, with how few they took. Off the path and beneath one of the trees, Seyardu was resting with her back against it, tail to her side. While normally squinting, their eyes were fully closed, as they tried to get more of a much needed rest.

It is a wonderful place for rest and relaxation. Zeke, a blue-scaled sith-makar is one such who enjoys on occasion using the gardens as a place to get away. He walks the paths with a basket slung over his crystal arm, eyes roaming the flowers and the trees until he spots Seyardu. Much as he is loathe to disturb her, he does have reason to do so. He moves toward the other sith, but pauses at the edge of the path and does not go further. "Peasssce on your nessst." It is almost a question, quitely given to see if she is awake.

Seyardu was not quite as asleep as they may have appeared at first glance. When she heard someone nearby, and speaking up, metallic silver eyes open quickly, returning to the usual squint. They were relaxed seeing who it was and the scent, and they offer a wave and light thump of their tail against the ground.

"Peace on your nest, Zeke." She greets quickly. “You are well, I hope?"

Zeke relaxes somewhat as Seyardu rouses, and offers her the swishing of his tail as further evidence that he is pleased to see her. "Thisss one doess well enough. Thisss one iss glad to find you resssting. How have you been?" He seems genuinely interested in the answer to this.

"This one did not mean to be resting. I came to offer prayer, but this one seems to have dozed off sometime afterwards." Seyardu admits, seeming a bit sad from this. But she looks up, shakes her head, and thumps her tail again.

"This one, is doing fine." She adds. It was a blatant lie to any that could tell from scents. Even the thump of the tail was less natural. There was much worry and sadness, and some other feelings of similar distress.

The blue-scale blinks at this blatant untruth and shifts with mild discomfort. "You do not have to ssshare wordsss with thisss one; thisss one would never forsce sssuch a thing, but if you have a dessire to sshare wordsss... Thisss one would like to lisssten; and perhapsss to help." Zeke meets her eyes as best he can, his own green orbs full of his desire to be ablt to assist her.

"This one, you already have much to deal with, Zeke. This one knows you have had your hands full with tending to Seldan and Aya, among others." Seyardu sighs, resting her back against the tree. "This one would not put more troubles on you. Even if this one would wish to share words and worries."

Zeke moves off the path and toward Seyardu slightly. So that she can smell his calm, unworried scent. Know that he is at peace. "Thisss one doess not find the helping of othersss to be a burden Sseyardu. Thisss one... wasss for ssso very long unable to be of ussse to any-one." He shifts his tail, happy and sad at the same moment. "If you will allow, thisss one would ssshare wordsss with you, and tea. It would be thisss onesss pleasssure, and joy to do ssso."

"Tea would not go amiss, if you have some to share. And if it is no trouble to share and do so." Seyardu responds, bowing her head. There was shame, there. "This one feels that they have accomplished so little, and the worries only keep increasing."

Gently, and with the sort of grace that comes more from the care of movement than the ease of natural dexterity, Zeke moves to Seyardu's side and slowly sits down. He moves his basket from his arm to the ground, and opens it. Within is his traveling case for tea, which he is more than pleased to pour out a cup for his companion from. He pours for her, offers her the cup, and then pours for himself. "Thissss one isss confusssed. It ssseemss to thiss one, that you have accomplissshed a great deal. In what way do you find your effortsss... unsssatisssfactory?"

"It does not feel like this one has." Seyardu says, keeping her head hanging a moment before she looks up, nods, and accepts the tea. "Thank you. It is the fact that despite what I have done and seen, it feels none will listen. The ashwings still roam. There are other fiends, as well. A green dragon and powerful sorceress I can do equally little about. And an entire warehouse of captives was allowed to be shipped off to a slave trading nation with little concern."

Zeke nods in gentle understanding. "It can feel like... very much at timesss yesss? You musst remember that you are not alone. That thessse problemsss are not ssome-thing which you face with your own two clawsss but with all of your alliessss." Zeke considers his own thoughts for a moment, drinking some of his tea and looking at the basket. "You mussst know, that there are sssome thingsss you can do. That even in the fasce of great and powerful evil that sssome-timesss it isss enough to be the one who sssaysss 'no'. It may feel like not enough, but thisss one hasss sseen ssuch change the coursse of the fight for the better. The godsss would not have plasssced you here with-out reassson."

"It feels too much." Seyardu nods, and sighs. There was sorrow there, as she sipped on some of the tea. "This one cannot remember the last time they have been able to truly relax."

"And now, there were younglings in those crates. Is it not enough to have the fact my brother was stolen away to that wretched place, but them as well, with myself being incapable of stopping it? This one wishes the gods placed someone who could do more."

The blue-scale has to restrain himself somewhat, the thought of younglings in statues... Trapped and sold as slaves... It's enough to make any sith-makar go into a frenzy. He does not though, he has perfect control over himself and he remains where he is in spite of his moment of anger. "Thisss one underssstandsss. Yet... You did find out where sssome of them went yesss? Thissss one hasss faith that you will ressscue thessse onesss, and that they will lead you to othersss whom you can sssave." He says this with more certainty than he should have. "You will grow in sstrength. You will learn and you will help. Thisss one hass faith in thisss asss well. Ssso too, doesss Sseldan."

"It was found out, yes. But it should not have reached this point."

The silver sith-makar hangs her head. "How many will not be saved because this one could do nothing to stop the shipments? Even if those there, it will still be a failure. Saving my brother if this one goes, if they are still alive, will not make up for the years they had to endure."

"And still, this one is terrified of the thought of going to Charn. As horrible as the ashwings are, the Charneth, are perhaps worse. Fiends are cruel by nature. They are not."

"It ssshould not have reached thisss point, of that you are correct. Yet you can not measssure every sstep by what isss not done. Even if you can not sssave all, isss it unworthy to sssave whom you can? If you can not sssave your kin today... doesss that not mean you ssshould sssave him tomorrow?" Zeke looks at her curiously. "Thossse who you might fassce are worthy of your fear, but more worthy of your wrath. Thisss one can undersssstand that you have thisss fear however." He nods and drinks more of his tea.

"Yes, this one would not leave them. Can not leave them." Seyardu notes, shaking her head, and exhaling, before she finishes off her tea.

"But this one worries. I failed those shipped off, failed my kin. There is precious little to convince myself that this will go better, even if determined to try. And time there, is not dealing with threats still here."

Zeke reaches out, telegraphing the motion carefully so that Seyardu can pull away if she desires. Yet he does try to lay his crystal claw on her shoulder. To comfort her. "Thisss one can not know how the future will go. But if you sssit in your thoughtss of failuresss, you will never ssee your sssuccessss. Thisss one doesss. Thisss one sseesss a plot uncovered where none thought to look before. Thisss one sseesss that thisss isss in the daylight where before it wasss in the dark. That there isss a possiblity of ressscue... where no one thought before that there wasss even need."

Seyardu looks, watches the claw, and she hangs her head, but does not pull away.

"There is, it does not feel like success. All the progress, it has not had results yet."

"They are all theoretical. This one will go, and hope for the best, after preparing. But until that point, what this one has done, it means little."

The male sith nods his head and offers to take Seyardu's cup from her. "Thisss one will pray to the Dragonfather, and perhapsss he will sssend you a ssign. Perhapsss he will help you find thossse you sseek. For now, though it isss very little indeed, that iss what thisss one can do."

Seyardu hands the teacup back with a nod. "This one would appreciate something. Something that says that this one is actually making a difference." She replies, growing quieter. "This one does not want to be useless."

"Thisss one will asssk." Zeke promises easily, and puts his tea cups away. "And if you ever are in need of ssharing wordsss... Thisss one hopesss that you will consssider thisss one. Thisss one alssso doess not like to feel usselesss. Ssso, helping othersss... it givess thisss one a feeling of doing ssome-thing."

"This one is sorry. You are like Rocky, then. That helping others is peace for you. This one, feels the same way. Perhaps it is also why this is so distressing."

Seyardu looks off, to the path, closing her eyes and sighing. "This one is never the one others come to for sharing their concerns. All this one manages, is to push their own worries to others."

Zeke tilts his head at this, then shifts his tail back and forth "Then thisss one will ssshare a conscern that thisss one hasss, and perhapsss you can help thisss one?" He asks gently. "Thisss one... might be a nessst-father given time and the grasssce of the godssss... yet thisss one isss..." He pauses here and motions to his crystal limbs. Motions to where he was born without limbs. "Thisss one isss worried that the defect of thisss oness birth will carry forward, or that thisss one will not make a good nessst-father becausssse thisss one isss... lacking."

"Then this one will listen." Seyardu speaks up, turning her attention back, sitting a bit straighter. And she listens, her tail swishing gently at the news. And they continue to listen.

"It is an occasion for joy, and this one is happy for you, Zeke. But also, it does not make your concerns less."

She pauses to look more where the limbs were missing, and melded into the crystal. "The fact that you are concerned, it is natural. This one does not know the specifics, but there is just as good a chance that they will not. And even if they are-"

She points to the crystal limb, and thumps her tail. "You can help them through it as only you can, with your experience. And your concerns about caring afterwards, many have them this one knows from their travels. But remember that you are welcome in Mictlan still, yes? You can speak to those who would offer guidance."

Zeke bows his head somewhat lower, touching a hand to his chest. There's a slight crinkle there, as if of paper hidden within the folds of cloth. "Thisss one worriesss mossst of all... That thisss one doesss not know how to be a /good/ nessst-father." He strokes the cloth and lets his hand fall away. "What if thisss one isss... driven mad by the dutiesss it represssentsss?"

"If you are driven mad? You will not be, this one thinks. And even if you were, you have Cihuaa and kin, and an entire village to help you through it in Mictlan." Seyardu responds after a moment, listening, but not questioning. "You are a kind, understanding soul. And you will not be alone. You have many to help you, to learn from, to teach yourself."

"This one did not have a nest mother. But this one's nest father, they were patient, kind, and supportive. You know this one cannot see color, yes? They always reassuring, so it never felt like a hindrance. To this day I do not see it as one, merely a consideration."

Zeke considers a moment and then pulls the paper out. Offering it to Seyardu. It's a note simply folded up. "Thisss one... Thisss onesss nessst-mother was driven mad, isss mad. Thisss one thinksss about it all the time." He confessed this and looks at the letter. "Ssshe found out that thisss one hasss a cihuaa and meansss to correct thisss missstake. Sshe... meansss to arrive in a few daysss. Thisss one... doess not know what to do." It seems then, that this may be the source of his lack of belief in himself about the uncertainties of fatherhood.

Seyardu looks, takes the paper with a nod, but she waits to listen to what Zeke has to say. "You mean, they seek to make them reconsider?" Seyardu asks. She was unsure how her own father was doing, after how she left. She opens the letter, reading it, and nods, handing the letter back. "That seems to be. But you are not your nest-mother, Zeke. You have family now, in the shaman caste. Kin in Seldan, and Cihuaa, with Cryosanthia. This one knows not if it is possible to reason. You say they are maddened, and this one does not know to what degree. Is speaking a possibility? That they may see the reason that is abundantly clear to those here?"

Zeke seems uncomfortable, and rightly so. His nest-mother is clearly... unhinged. "Thisss one doesss not think ssso. Thisss one managed to convinsce her to let thiss one sstay in Alexandria, and to leave thisss one alone for a time, but thisss one alsso thinksss that the ssicknessss in her mind isss growing worsse. Or perhaps... thisss one merely ssseess it ass worssse now."

"It does not sound as if it is your fault then, if you are away and it stays." Seyardu replies after a moment. "Perhaps in that case, the best option would be to meet them somewhere, speak with shaman and keepers who may be able to help. If it is about the madness, and not yourself, that is what needs to be addressed. They need to heal, and come to terms, which they cannot do on their own. But that does not need to be only your concern, and it should not."

"Thisss isss ssound advisce." Zeke replies, relaxing somewhat and taking the note back. He tucks it into his vestments and nods low to Seyardu. "Thisss one will sseek out one of the ssshaman-cassste in order to sssee if ssshe can be ssspoken to. Thisss one... sshould make arrangementsss." With this he rises to his feet. Which perhaps makes sense since he can not be certain per the letter when his mother will arrive.

"That would be a sound idea. One shaman helps, but it is together, that the people are strongest." Seyardu notes, thumping her tail against the ground. "It sounds as if she has her own troubles, if they can be helped, perhaps that will allow them to leave you be. Does she know who your Cihuaa is? You should make Cryosanthia aware of it as well, when you can. So she is not caught unawares, and you may move forward together."

"And thank you, Zeke, for listening, and for sharing. This one feels somewhat better."

Zeke bows his head deeply to Seyardu. "Thisss one will talk to Cryossanthia. Thisss isss ssound advisce alssso." He nods once and then begins to make his way out of the gardens. He will quickly disappear into the lengthening shadows and the dark. His vestments are the last fading remnants of his presence. The shining symbol of Daeus. It is a reminder perhaps.

-End