Nevermind the Bollocks
Title: Nevermind the Bollocks
Emitter: Kade
Characters: Rhar (3), Duncan (4), Mel (4), Zoob (2)
NPCs: -
Place: Redridge Mountains
Time: March 8th, 2014
Summary: A wizard by the name of Trelsar needs some troll...reproductive organs to make his latest magical creation. So a set of heroes with empty purses, strong hearts, and (hopefully) sharp blades set off to find one in the Redridge Mountains.
APL: 3
Encounter 1: Rockslide Trap (CR 4)
Encounter 2: Troll (CR 5)
It seemed simple enough at first. The rather addled looking tower wizard Trelsar posted a notice looking for monster hunters for reagant gathering. But now here the lot of you are at the base of the Redridge mountains, gazing up at the looming peaks, with a large jar of mild acid that Trelsar expects to be returned full of Troll gonads. Wizards are weird. At least they grow back for easy harvesting! As demented as the magi was, he at least did his homework and found an area that seemed to have a troll moved in, guessing by the tavern rumors and at least one missing caravan. Once you actually put boots to the ground, it's confirmed pretty quickly, even amongst those of you unfamiliar with their habits. Large claw marks 10 feet up trees, a complete lack of large game or other predators in the area, fangs and fingernails in gnawed bones scattered along the game trails you track the creature from, with the trail leading up a winding mountain pass that lays before you...
Monster hunting! Rhar and Gurr are hunters, but they're never heard of hunters wanting meat in jars. Or specific parts of meat in jars. That doesn't mean they don't want to hunt. Anything outside the weird, smelly walls is better than inside, too. Rhar and Gurr sniff at the air, trees, and ground as they walk along. Well, Gurr walks. Rhar is hitching a ride. Maybe they'll switch on the way back.
Duncan grumbles and mutters about Trolls as he examines the claw marks high up on a tree. He has a longbow strung with an arrow readied, and either rides or walks near to his Khazad Digger. "Everybody keep your eyes and ears open. If we see them first, we can sneak up on the lazy brutes."
Mel nods gravely to Duncan and will let the others go first. "Don't have to tell me twice," he agrees with Duncan. "I ... wasn't expecting such a small party to be going after trolls." He looks left and right, watching warily all around.
The trek up the mountain pass is uneventful, if a bit tense. The expectation of being ambushed by a nigh unkillable giant with an unsatiable hunger for flesh can do that. But being proper adventurers, you steel yourselves and march onwards and upwards. The sun is just starting to dip down close to the horizon by the time you discover the cave and it's pretty obvious you have found your target. A plateu in the path opens up ahead, with large cave with a mouth large enough for two giantborn to stand abreast leads into the side of the mountain. Bizarre trophies or fetishes hang from loose vines and scraps of rope, with smashed open skulls of animals and humanoids alike and bits of detritus from the packs of fallen travelers and the forest floor, over the cave mouth. A quick test of the wind tells you that are downwind from the entrance, giving some small assurance that the creature won't smell you coming at least.
Duncan peers at the cave for a long time, then puts away his bow. He checks that his giant axe is strapped to his back and a smaller dagger is ready on his belt, but instead pulls out the handle of his Dran Flail, looping the long chain a few times with his free hand. "It's gotta be pretty big inside if a Troll's in there...I say we sneak in an' try to surprise him. 'Nox and I can take the lead." He nods towards the Digger, who seems disinterested in the idea.
Mel nods to Duncan, and is fine with him taking the lead. "Sounds like a good plan. I'll support and see if I can get around him. I've got some field training, so I'm pretty quiet, I can keep an eye out for pebbles and sticks, anything that might make a noise."
It's easy to tell they're downwind. The cave stinks even more. "Think monster in there." Rhar points at the cave. Gurr agrees. Zoob has been bringing up the rear, hopping about on bandy legs, wide green ears waving in the wind. "Okay, this should be not too difficult. We just have to be silent and sneaky until it notices us, then open up with everything we have. I'm told that trolls are particularly stupid and that they are afraid of bright lights and loud noises, so we should be able to get the advantage. Or maybe that was goats? I always get those two confused. Anyway, I'll take rear guard and blast anything that gets near."
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+8: (13)+8: 21
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+8: (8)+8: 16
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+8: (7)+8: 15
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+8: (5)+8: 13
Prepared for what could be a great sneak attack, the six of you creep forward, ready to attack at a moment's notice. But unfortunately, this troll is smarter than the average bear. Or at least has time to pile up a whole mess of rocks higher up the mountainside, rigged to a thin trip line, triggered by one of the digger's heavy footsteps. With a rumbling, a cascade of boulders from the size of beehives down to fists tumble down in front of the cave mouth, but luckily thick armor and fast reflexes leaves only one casualty: The element of surprise. After the dust quite literally clears and you pick yourselves up and assess the damage, the grunts and snuffling start to waft out from the cave along with the fierce troll musk. It seems to be saying the same thing over and over again... ((Jotun: Meat! Meat! Meat!))
Mel takes another look at the narrowness of the cave entrance and trades his shortsword for a javelin as they all form up in ranks. He advances with javelin and buckler ready, treading lightly, quietly pointing out hazards and things that might make noise as we sneak in. He uses a set of terse but specific phrases and gestures that those who recognize Merctalk will recognize. Unfortunately, he's not close enough to the front to see how the rocks are piled in time to call out a warning. "Are you guys OK?" he calls in a hoarse whisper once the dust settles, moving forward to provide aid, if needed.
Rhar and Gurr yelp when the rocks come tumbling down. Lucky for them they can move out of the way. "The mountain is broken! Watch for falling rocks!"
Zoob jumps back, lifting his thunderbelcher out of the way of the rocks as they crash down. "Well, there goes the surprise anyway." He braces as the voice approaches, waiting to fire once he has a target. Then he looks down at the musket and starts loading both barrels. "Oops."
Duncan leaps to one side to avoid getting flattened by a boulder, then rolls back in the direction he came from to keep from being pulped by another. A few even larger chunks of stone bounce off of his Digger's thick armor but the beast barely seems to notice. "This Troll's smarter than most of his kind," Duncan notes. One last pebble plinks off of his head, but due to the thick skulls of Khazad (and the borderline insanity of most Khazad-Mornir), he doesn't suffer any serious harm.
The guttural pigdin Jotun chant comes closer, rising in excitation and frequency as the creature rushes towards the cave entrance, the galloping thumps indicative of quadrapedal running. Of course once the green-skinned giant comes into view, the reason is obvious. The troll, joints popping and vertebrae snapping, stands up to it's full height of fourteen feet and lets out a wordless bellow that could easily be of joy or rage. In any case, it's intentions toward the lot of you can't be good as it lurches forward.
GAME: Zoob rolls initiative: Roll: 11 + Bonus: 4 = Total: 15
GAME: You roll initiative for Troll: Roll: 1 + Bonus: +2 = Total: 3
GAME: Mel rolls initiative: Roll: 18 + Bonus: 3 = Total: 21
GAME: Rhar rolls initiative: Roll: 10 + Bonus: 3 = Total: 13
GAME: Duncan rolls initiative: Roll: 7 + Bonus: 3 = Total: 10
GAME: Mel rolls 1d20+6: (17)+6: 23
GAME: Mel rolls 3d6+2: (15)+2: 17
Mel manages to keep his wits about him as the troll comes out, and he rises up from helping his friends to cast that javelin with a mighty heavy as the troll exits his cave. It might have known trouble was coming, but it's caught looking as Mel's cast embeds the javelin in its chest.
GAME: Zoob rolls ranged +1 (touch attack): (19)+7+1 (touch attack): 27
GAME: Zoob rolls 1d10 +1: (6)+1: 7
Zoob swings the twin barrels of his thunderbelcher into line and lets out a blast of lead shot, peppering the mighty troll. "Take that! Bet you don't like the loud noise, do you mister troll? Or is that goats. Do you mind letting me know what you think?
GAME: Rhar rolls melee+1: (6)+6+1: 13
GAME: Rhar rolls 1d20+5: (16)+5: 21
GAME: Rhar rolls 1d20+5: (4)+5: 9
Rhar was going to ask nicely with pointing to the jar and the troll's berries. Maybe he would've given them up without a fight. No such luck. Gurr bounds in and goes for an ankle. Rhar swings high, but not high enough. She just misses below the berries. Gurr sinks his teeth into an ankle, but the thing is too big for him to unbalance.
GAME: Duncan rolls 1d20+9: (17)+9: 26
GAME: Duncan rolls 1d10+12: (3)+12: 15
Duncan tilts his head back to peer up at the Troll as it emerges. It's only after the other adventurers begin their assault that Duncan rouses himself and charges forward. He skids to a stop a few steps away from the monster, but launches his flail at the enemy, scoring a thumping hit.
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+8: (14)+8: 22
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+8: (20)+8: 28
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+8: (9)+8: 17
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+8: (13)+8: 21
GAME: Kade rolls 1d8+5: (3)+5: 8
GAME: Kade rolls 3d6+17: (13)+17: 30
GAME: You damaged Duncan for 38 points. -2 remaining. (DYING)
The troll wails in pain and fury as it is assailed from all sides, greenish blood pouring down it's many wounds. It pauses only long enough to tear the javelin from it's chest and cast it aside before it is smashed in the skull by the warrior-dwarf. Reeling from the attack, it apparently picked a target to lash out at. The troll scoops Duncan up with two uppercut claws into his side, digging into his ribs, lifting the Khazad to it's fang-filled jaws to take a bite out of his shoulder before he casts the dwarf aside for another target, hate in it's black eyes.
GAME: Mel rolls 1d20+6: (18)+6: 24
GAME: Mel rolls 1d6+2: (1)+2: 3
Mel acks as the troll turns on Duncan and drops him. He yanks another Javelin out and hurls it trollward with a grunt, calling out, "Come and get some!" even as he backpedals, trying to draw it away from his fallen ally. The javelin nearly sails past the big target, clipping it a glancing blow before falling aside.
GAME: Zoob rolls ranged +1 (touch attack): (7)+7+1 (touch attack): 15
GAME: Zoob rolls 1d10 +1: (6)+1: 7
Zoob scampers arouund to the side, ears flapping, so as not to hit his allies with the spray of buckshot and unleashes the Blam! "Take that you big bully! What did Duncan ever do to you aside from hit you with a flail while trying to steal your family jewels... okay, so maybe it wasn't totally unjustified. Still, not a nice thing to do!"
GAME: Rhar rolls melee+1: (2)+6+1: 9
GAME: Rhar rolls 1d20+6: (8)+6: 14
"Give up berry! Not hit pack! Rhar make you not hit pack!" Rhar yells at the Troll when she swings at it. She doesn't hit, and probably doesn't make it stop hitting. She swings so far off-balance it even makes Gurr lurch and his teeth snap on air.
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+8: (19)+8: 27
GAME: Kade rolls 1d6+5: (3)+5: 8
GAME: Duncan rolls 1d20+4: (14)+4: 18
GAME: Duncan rolls 1d8+3: (8)+3: 11
(Digger Attacks, Hits Troll)
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+8: (1)+8: 9
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+8: (2)+8: 10
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+8: (8)+8: 16
Faced with a digger tearing into it's rubbery flesh, blood spewing everywhere, the troll's savage rage is a detriment as it can't focus enough to break through the defenses of the digger or the halfling that plagues it, teeth and claws coming up empty with every wild bite and uncordinated swipe.
GAME: Mel rolls acrobatics: (1)+9: 10
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+8: (4)+8: 12
GAME: Mel rolls 1d20+9: (5)+9: 14
Mel sees how things are going and figures he'd better wade in. He hauls out his shortsword and digs his feet into the dirt, then takes off for the troll at a hard sprint, doing a hard zig at the last moment to try and avoid any counterattack as he rushes in to attack it. His boots skid on the soft earth and he nearly spills over, though in doing so, the trolls counterattack whistles by over his head. His own attempt to attack would have been more effective if the troll was closer to where he's flailing with his sword as he gets his feet back under him.
GAME: Zoob rolls ranged +1 (touch attack): (11)+7+1 (touch attack): 19
GAME: Zoob rolls 1d10 +1: (7)+1: 8
Zoob scurries further round the tall creature, frantically reloading both barrels as he does so. He unleashes another blast at the troll's head, leaving it bloodied and oozing but failing to fell it.
GAME: Rhar rolls melee+3: (8)+6+3: 17
GAME: Rhar rolls 1d20+8: (15)+8: 23
GAME: Rhar rolls 1d4+6: (2)+6: 8
GAME: Rhar rolls 1d6+3: (6)+3: 9
"Rhar said no hit!" She warned him. The troll should have given up his berries when he had the chance. She bonks him hard in the knee and Gurr chomps down on the calf and worries it. Mess with the pack, you get the teeth. And stick.
Zoob watches the troll collapse and quickly reloads his spent firearm. "Okay, now we collect the goods we need, yes? I'll stand watch over here while you do that, just in case it disagrees again on whether this is a good idea or not."
Mel will jam his sword into the troll's face, or what remains of it, to keep it down, then he'll try to help out Duncan. As much as he can. "Hang in there, buddy, we've got you!" Mel doesn't know a lot of first aid, hopefully someone else does, but he knows how battle injuries go. "You're doing all right, just hang tough," he encourages, wadding up bandages over the worst of it.
The Khazad Digger comes over, nudging the fallen Duncan and then looking at the nearest still-standing party member plaintively. The armor on it's back features a small saddle. If someone could lash the rider on, the digger could likely carry him all the way back to Alexandria.
It's dirty, bloody work. Both staunching the rather grevious wounds of Duncan (But hey, chicks dig scars!) and the rather savage tandem act of butchering the troll carcass to keep it from rising again while harvesting it's gonads multiple times. This adventure probably isn't one that's going to be told around the tavern hearth or to the grandkids, but at least it's lucrative with what your paid by Trelsar and the treasure found in the Troll's cave. All in all, a success. Once your finished with the troll, severing it's head completely and cauterizing the stump with a torch makes short work of it and you are off back to Alexandria!