Lost in the Lake and Saved by a Bustle

-=--=--=--=--=--=--=--<* Castle District - Feren Road *>--=--=--=--=--=--=--=-

	Several impressive guild halls rise up over the city streets here, representing the skilled professions of the city. Each trade has its own guild, and the wealth and power of the guilds is made evident by the expense put into the design and construction of these buildings. Of particular note is the massive gilt-domed hall for the Alexandria Mercantile Association, the area's premier merchant guild.

-=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=-- Contents --=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=-

Eva appears from Feren Road, walking with a fresh-faced young man who wears the vestments of Althean clergy. She appears to be holding a long scroll, which she reads from periodically as she talks with the Hearthguard beside her. "Okay, so I can't bring them to the Fernwood pub?"

"Any establishment that serves alcohol at all, really."

"And I can't let them play with Mr. Snake?"

"Any venemous reptile, actually..."

"Olly, you are killing me here."

Svarshan walks along behind the pair of them, his pacing slow. Now and again it looks as though he might smile at the Hearthguard's words...just a twitch along the side of his muzzle to give him away. As they progress along the road, he twitches slightly--a shudder running along his shoulders, and a nervous glancing to the side.

And Sandy is stalking them. She's *stalking* them. Vengeance! She will have it.

She sits above on the rooftops, using dainty elf feet to her advantage. Sneaking along.

Oh yes. THERE WILL BE BUNNEHS.

"And what, I can't even have a little drink when they're around?" Eva pinches the bridge of her nose. She looks like she has a headache. In one hand, she carries a small metal box that has a rather miserable and unhappy viper caged inside, his tongue occasionally flicking at the screen door that stands between him and freedom. Oliver, initiate of Althea, frowns and folds his arms resolutely.

"I will have you know that we take children /very/ seriously around here, Miss Howell. It is not appropriate at all for you, as the guardian of James and Mary, to be intoxicated at all in their presence." The Hearthguard does not smile. Not one bit. "I fear that Lady Aveline's children could have come to great harm, in fact, if this noble sith-makar had not alerted us of your...indiscretions."

"Yeah, thanks a lot for that Svarshan." Eva grumbles underneath her breath.

"Saaa..." Svarshan scratches at the scales beneath his jaw. Dry, they make the sound of sandpaper-over-sandpaper. "One only sought asssisstance. You are always asking," his voice is slow, as is the rest of him as he plods along. And yet again, he stops, sniffing the air.

(New BB message (5/7) posted to 'Credits and Thanks' by Whirlpool: Mists Scenes)

Sandy has stopped herself, contemplating. The hearthguards presence are going to make her plans for bunnification difficult. But that's okay. She eventually gives up on the stealthy approach and begins sliding down the walls of the buildings.

She now begins to approach more directly. "Oh, Mister *Svarshan*. And... *her*." She doesn't even know Eva's name. "It's SO good to see you all. Hello, Heartugards."

(New BB message (3/18) posted to 'Plot Announcements' by Whirlpool: Low Level Scene!)

"Furthermore Miss Howell, I would like you to know that Lady Aveline has voluntarily joined a rehabilitation program that we Hearthguards hold for those who have an unhealthy addiction to the devil's water. I suggest that you yourself consider join-"

A derisive snort from Eva. "Yeah, that's not going to happen." And then Sandy shows up! Eva takes a close look at her, memories clink about in her mind and... "Do I know you?"

Svarshan is watching the Hearthguard, and if he were of a race to nod, he would. As it is, he watches the man attentively...and twitches. The twitches seem to be coming with increasing regularity, until... "Saa, it isss..." he says, and then his eyes narrow.

"You ssssound happy."

Mutter.

Beneath the breath, "Ssshe only sssoundss happy when contemplating the death of sssmall petss."

"I am not contemplating anyone's *death*. Let alone that of small animals. Particularly bunny rabbits. That are pink. Or Iguanas." Sandy says this to Svarshan with a wide old smile on her face. She makes her way towards them, though, and then sighs at Eva's question. "Really? *Really*? That's what you're going with?"

"Now, before we can release the children to you, there is one more thing we needed to dis-" Oliver pauses and frowns sternly when he realizes that he does not have Eva's full attention. Instead, she appears to be staring at the sides of Sandy's head. Her crooked fingers twitch, almost involuntarily.

"Th-those...those ears..."

+--Really? Really? That's what you're going wi--"

And that's when Svarshan punches her. In the face.

Daeus totally told him to do that.

This doubtless makes the ears wobble.

Sadwobbles.

Sad, sad wobbles.

CRACK.

Sandy just got punched by an incredibly strong lizard person. She flops over onto her back with a crash and just lays there for a moment.

After a lengthy moment holding her face with her hamd, she utters, "...*OW*?"

"W-what in the hells?" Both Oliver and Eva's jaws have dropped, as both turn to stare at the sith-makar, issues of childcare momentarily forgotten. The only sound that can be heard coming from them is the sound of an unhappy snake rattling around in its cage. "What just happened there?!"

"I am already a lizard," he tells Sandy then, as he crouches nearby. So diplomatic. So good with words.

"And your fangsss are showing." To the Hearthguard, he opens his muzzle. Closes it. Opens it again. "Daeus told me to."

So serious, Svarshan. So serious!

"Ow. The... *ow*. I... *OW*."

Sandy just lays there on the ground a moment longer before pointing a finger at Svarshan accusingly, "You *HIT* me. I wasn't going to hit you. *JERK*." She clears her throat, then sit up slowly as he eyes her. She points at him, utters a few arcane syllables....and then SVARSHAN VANISHES IN A PUFF OF SMOKE.

The Althean's mouth stays open for a moment longer before snapping shut as he turns and scowls at Eva. "Miss Howell, I am beginning to think that you are not capable of providing these children with an environment that is conductive to their health and development!" AND THEN SVARSHAN GOES POOF!

"Uhhh...what in the hells just happened there?" Eva pinches the bridge of her nose once more and adjusts her glasses. "How is this even my fault?!"

"I sssmell cheese." But someone moved it. The halls are dark and dim--TWISTED, just as the INNER CURTAINS OF SANDY'S SOUL. They loom on either side, the walls massive and high, and darkness ahead and behind him.

He scowls, and pushes at one of these sides. It gives, though not very far.

"I sent Svarshan away. For about, oh, ten minutes. He is safe. I wouldn't actually *hurt* a paladin. He just thinks I'm going to turn her into a pinky rabbit or something." She's bleeding from her nose, of course, and she's dabbing it with a handkerchief.

"Oy, midget elf, if you don't bring back my friend, you're going to make me lose my job at this rate. No one is going to let me take care of children if I hang around crazy mages and punchy lizardmen!" Eva looks very frustrated indeed, as Oliver takes out what appears to be a quill and a clipboard, upon which he begins to write while making an irritating "tut-tut" sound.

"Oh, it's not *your* fault. I was going to wait until you were far away from the children to do anything," replies Sandy to Eva, casually. "Don't fire her yet." Yet! She clears her throat, then gets to her feet. Slowly.

Svarshan presses at another of the terrible walls. It gives with a sickening, rotting sound (just as the inner rottings of Sandy's soul, you know) before collapsing outwards. And then he's standing there. And there's the Hearthguard. And there's the pale woman. And there's...

"DEMON SILDANYARI!!!!"

A surprised look of alarm comes across Sandy's face and her eyes widen. He's back already? IMPOSSIBLE. She points a finger at him and then...

*POOF*

And then Svarshan is back! But not for long, apparently. Oliver just keeps shaking his head at this point, as he fills out page after page detailing how unsafe Eva's environment tends to be. BUT EVA IS DONE WITH THIS NONSENSE! While Sandy is finishing up the process of sending Svarshan away for the second time, Eva marches forward and grabs both of Sandy's ears and begins screaming at her. "Gods dammit midget elf, bring him back before I lose my job!"

"...AWK! H-hey! LET GO OF THOSE!" Sandy cringes, flailing a bit. "LET GO! He'll be FINE. He'll be back whenever he figures it out!"

EARS. THEY ARE DELICAET.

The walls of the maze are dark and dank. Foreboding and horrid. They ooze with pestil...

Well, it IS Sandy's maze. Isn't it? And at that realization, he begins to...

TWITCH.

"Who the hell cares about if Svarshan is fine or not?" Pinch pinch. Pinch pinch. And some tugging too. "How about MY JOB? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get steady employment when all your previous employers blacklist you for stupid misunderstandings? Like letting a venemous reptile get loose in school classroom or when you burn down a few stupid shelves of old books no one was reading anyways!"

• pinchpinchpinch*

No matter which way he turns, the walls LOOM. DARK and DREARY, they are full of GLOOM and TERMITE SMILES.

As he walks, it's as though they whisper, "I know. I know what you were doing, last summer..."

And so he walks. Lost. In the Sandy-Maze.

Ow ow ow!

Sandy is flailing, but seems powerless to stop Eva. "I caaan't," she cries. "He'll be back in ten minutes! Tops!!"

"I have half a mind to hold onto your eyes for the full ten minutes!" But wait! If both of Eva's hands are on Sandy's ears...who is holding Mr. Snake's cage...? A few feet away appears to be an empty metal box, its screen door knocked loose after having been dropped on the ground.

"...owowowowowow, leggooooooooo," Sandy wails. This hurts! She finally manages some shoving at Eva, trying to get her to let go of her ears. The hearthguards are probably watching, bemused and horrified. Probably.

And Mr. Snakey is loose again. Oh noes!!!

Just as the horror of the snake sinks in...

"DEMON. SILDANYARI!!!"

It's as though she can't get rid of him.

EVER.

Snake. On one side.

Glaring. Paladin. On the other.

Glaring. Paladin. Who is grabbing. Shatner-speak. The lapels. Of. Her. Shirt.

"Uh...M-miss Howell?"

"Eh?" Eva looks up, diverting her attention from the wild Sandy she is tormenting. Standing against the side of a building, clipboard held in front of him like a shield, is Oliver the initiate. In front of Oliver is a very pissed off black viper, hissing loudly and baring its fangs at the poor Hearthguard.

"Ow ow ow ow!" SAndy now is being grabbed by the two of them, "Let go, dammit! You PUNCHED me. You got what you deserved! Leggooo!" She's upset about this. Elf ears are the weakness!

Svarshan looks over at Eva. And then he looks at the puddle at the side of the road.

"We throw her. And then we run."

For sweet, sweet life.

Eva opens her mouth, perhaps to protest making this situation worse by making the tiny mage next to them any angrier, but then she looks at the situation in front of her: Svarshan has just returned from his second trip in the smelly Sandy maze, they are dealing with an angry powerhouse whose ears have been tugged and tormented for the third time, and her caseworker is up against the wall cowering from her pet snake. "Yeah...yeah, I guess things can't get worse than this. On three!"

Svarshan nods, quickly. He tenses.

One!

TWO!

Cesran arrives from the south along Faren Road.

Cesran has arrived.

Sandy has been grabbed. On the one side, Svarshan has her by the lapels of her shirt and is yelling at her. Eva has grabbed her ears. They are apparently angry at her. An angry, hissing viper is glaring at two Althean hearthguards, a short distance from an open wire and metal cage.

Sandy utters a magical phrase and the three squabbling adventurers VANISH!!!!

...and reappear a short distance away. Over the lake. THAT lake.

The very COLD lake.

Svarshan glances down. It's that moment that coyotes have when they realize the canyon has run out from under them. When they realize that in their hunt to capture the DEMON SILDANYARI they overlooked one...

...tiny...

...detail.

And can sith'makar scramble that fast?

Can they, indeed, scramble, to land sitting on top of a DEMON SILDANYARI head just before they all collapse into the water?

Can they...INDEED??!?!??!

"MOTHERFU-" Splash! Eva sputters and chokes, floundering in the body of cold water she had just appeared above. "Gah, I was wrong, the situation could get worse and it did!" Poor Eva. ;_;

"Gnngghr!"

Snady is now in the lake too. And is being drowned by Eva and Svarshan's combined fat.

Mostly Eva.

Jugga arrives from the south along Faren Road.

Jugga has arrived.

An odd scene presents itself for any newcomers. A Hearthguard is lying prone on the ground, clipboard dropped beside him. It looks as though he has fainted from shock. An empty and open cage lays on its side nearby. Further away is the vanishing form of a rapidly retreating snake.

GLUB. GLUB GLUB GLUB.

"SSsssaannnnnnddyyy!!!!"

The roar, that universal roar, rings out over the lake. And watchman, passing by, must be used to it. Must be used to it, by that voice, in that tone, and IN THAT VOLUME, because he keeps walking by.

In a lake a ways from the road, a set of adventurers scramble. The water. Is cold. And frigid.

And one of them is swearing.

Huh? (Type "help" for help.)

"Hmm?" Eva suddenly realizes that she is drowning the midget elf under her bulk. She lets go, wades a distance away and looks at the nearby shore forlornly. Somewhere out there, she can feel Mr. Snake trying to find his suddenly vanished mistress. "Hey Svarsh...do you know anyone who needs a nanny?"

Svarshan opens his mouth, and closes it, as he treads water.

Sometimes...

Cesran hears the splashing that comes from the lake. He wonders what's going on as the water is freezing and anyone foolish enough to go swimming it it will need help soon. He walks down towards the edge of the water and he cups his hands to his mouth, "Everyone all right?"

Svarshan mutely points to Sandy. She. SHE needs a nanny.

Splash! Splash! Snady flails as the two of them try to grab her and she finally breaks free of them and heads for the shore, casting Svar a look. "Don't *make* me do that again, Svarshan!" She is bruised, bloodied, cold, and not happy. She walks out of the lake, shaking violently from the cold weather and cold lake.

Svarshan looks at Sandy a good, long while.

And then he looks at Eva.

Solemnly, "The Althean and Daeusite faiths would pay you," solemn. "But one isss a paladin. I cannot wish you such damnation."

And he blinks at Cesran, as though wondering what words to say. Because.

He was just, you know.

Teleported into a lake!

Eva drags herself out of the water. Her hair is a soaking mess, the tight bun it was in having unravelled messily in the water. Her brand new outfit is drenched. She reaches up, grabs a handful of hair and begins wringing out the moisture while offering a nod to Cesran. "Funny bumping into you here." No offer of an explanation is forthcoming.

So Sandy, shaking, drapes a hand onto Eva's shoulder. She smiles at Svarshan and then says to Cesran, "I've been punched, hassled, and annoyed. And you're asking me if I'm all right. NO. I AM NOT FUCKING ALL RIGHT." She then says, "You're going to come to work for me," to Eva. "The pay is *excellent*, I promise." She lets Svarshan hear this.

Svarshan narrows his eyes. And...the Hearthguard is too far away! He ducks beneath the water, and begins swimming towards shore.

Svarshan goes OOC.