Meaning of Strength

Log Info

• Title: Meaning of Strength

• Emitter: Dolan

• Characters: Andelena, Dolan

• Place: Andelena and Dolan's apartment

• Summary: Dolan comes home from rescuing Telamon, and when he's greeted by a relieved Andelena, he, too, is also relieved, the two Daeusites rejoicing in his completed mission. The two get inside and talk about their relationship, as well as Andelena's definition of being a strong woman. Deliverance even joins in with motherly advice, which Dolan bemoans a little (he might be the only man in history with a sword for a future mother-in-law), but accepts. (The alternative is, after all, Andelena's birth mother.)

Now comes the bad part.

Fresh from the baths, hair still wet, Dolan carries pack and weapons belt towards the door of the apartment that he and Andelena share. Everything else has been left with a friend at the Temple to be cleaned - magic is such a blessing - but that means that he shivers in the early spring chill, every inch of that chill palpable through his left shoulder and from shoulders to hips across his back beneath the clean shirt that he'd thrown on out of the baths. Cold, filthy metal armor that needs a good scrubbing and oiling is left to hang loosely across his shoulders and back, unfastened at the hips and sides, which does not help the cold. The jewelry was readily enough cleaned, taken into the bath with him for a good scrub.

His mind, though, is anything but. I hope she'll forgive me for that, is the foremost thought on his mind among many. Irritation mingled with relief that another had been drafted to take his friend to the Temple - he didn't rightly know whether to be grateful or insulted. So she thinks I'm weak, too. I guess if she's bonded to Tel, that follows. At least I can go make things right with Andie more quickly. I'll check in on Tel when I've done that.

Lightning and fire lance through the shoulder joint as he shifts the weapon belt to his left hand so he can open the door, his footsteps loud on the stairs.

Before he can open the door, however, the door opens for him. There's Andelena, dressed in one of the sets of tunics and breeches that they share, with the pendant of Daeus prominently around her neck and hanging down above the tunic, where normally it's tucked underneath for safekeeping or worn on a shorter length. She looks at Dolan with those steel-grey eyes.

But there's not hellfire. There's no demands, no accusations, nothing. Andelena's face blooms instead into complete and utter relief. "You, me, and the Knight, baby," she says, opening her arms wide. "Is all that blood on you the dogs or yours?"

When her face blooms into complete and utter relief, so does Dolan's. She's not angry. Knight be praised. The look of worry, of pensiveness, of guilt he wears just melts away, and pack and weapons hit the wooden deck in a clatter as he moves to return that embrace. Everything else melts away in that moment, except that touch, that embrace.

That armor is nasty, though.

"It's all the dogs', baby. I'm fine. Shoulder hurts like shit, but it held," he adds in relief, against her shoulder. "Tel's being taken to the Temple of Eluna. It sounds like whatever in the green garden hells they did, it backfired on them, bad."

Andelena doesn't give, in her own parlance, a rat's ass about how nasty the armor is. She hugs Dolan in that compassionate embrace, giving him all the relief he needs--because, in truth, it's relief for her, too, for him to be standing here. She leans in and kisses him on the lips, letting him talk after.

"Plans don't always work out," she says. "By the way of the sound of your note and the blood you got on you--they probably didn't intend for it to happen, and they probably are gonna need a little bit of compassion afterwards."

She leans her forehead against Dolan's. "But I'm not focused on them at the moment. I'm just... So fucking glad you're home, babe. Let's get you inside."

Dolan returns the kiss on the lips with a smile, but doesn't move to release the embrace until she does. "I know damned well they didn't plan for that to happen," he explains. "But never mind that. I was afraid you'd be angry with me, running out like that. There just wasn't time to find you, so I fed your cats, grabbed my gear, wrote the note, and left."

Only when she releases him does he move to pick up the weapon belt and pack that had slithered to the floor, his armor dangling half-buckled from his shoulders. He smells like the Temple baths, a hint as to the extent of the mess when he first arrived.

"You did the right thing, baby," Andelena says with a smile. "You'll have to catch me up later. I'm just talking out of my ass like someone's got their hand up my sphincter and I'm a puppet. But right now, I just want to hold you. Curl up in bed with you. Get you out of that armor. Cleaning can come a little later."

She releases him and helps him inside, catching any dangling bits that might be trying to come off Bry with the movement. Once they're through the door, she locks it up. "Lemme give you a hand with that armor, babe," is the first thing she suggests.

Weariness coupled with unbridled relief prompts a laugh from Dolan that is probably more than strictly necessary for the humor level intended, and he follows her through the door. The belt and the pack again hit the floor just inside the closed and locked door, slipping from his hands. "You should just be able to pull it off, baby. I don't think I can get it back off myself right now," he admits, hesitantly, raising his arms a little so that she can move it. Notably absent is the brace, and the jacket he usually wears.

Once the armor is dispensed with, he moves to return to the embrace, murmuring, "You, me, and the Knight, baby."

Andelena helps him out (with the armor), and might be just a little too eager to put her hands and arms on him again, embracing him and nuzzling against his unscarred cheek. "You, me, and the Knight," she echoes fondly.

There's a moment where... that's all she wants to do. Just hold him. Just have him there. She sighs in that affectionate, chest-rumbling way. "I was rattled by seeing that note," she admits. "But soon as I saw that you hadn't left your ring--that told my ass to calm down. Then I actually read and knew you'd come back to me."

She kisses his cheek. "I knew you would. Always know you will. I'm not scared anymore that you're gonna run--haven't been for a long while. You got me, you got our future... And you've got our cats." There's the wicked grin with the last, of course.

"I'm not going anywhere, ever again, baby. Even if that means I bring demons to our doorstep," Dolan murmurs, into her shoulder, just holding the embrace, exactly as it is, arms around her waist. "These days, that's starting to look like no big deal," he adds, with a snort of laughter against arms and shoulders.

The mention of the cats, though, is what makes him pick his head up off of her shoulder, and look at her with eyes both real and fake, grinning perhaps just a little too widely, an expression that splits both sides of his face open. "You're hells-bent on making them mine, aren't you."

"I know, babe, and that's kind of what I fucking love about you," Andelena admits with a loving laugh. "You've become someone who faces the fucked up shit that's out there and you just growl, 'Stay still, motherfucker.' I honestly don't think I'm that brave. But you? You're a bright and golden fucking statue among men, Bry, so that's why I'm holding onto you every chance I've got."

She just nods, the wicked grin still on her face to mirror his own. "I'm not making them yours. They're already yours. Pretty sure Patches was sleeping on your side of the bed just an hour ago. Spot's gone and taken up the entire couch." That's a lie. Spot is still quite a little thing, but of course, Andie would never dream of disturbing one of the girls while they're sprawled out on the couch.

Dolan's grin softens at the praise, but he doesn't let go. "I can't be a statue yet, baby. I'm not that stiff." Something wicked glints in the lone brown eye, but it fades. "I - I don't really have a choice, baby. The fucked up shit is already after me. That horse is out of the barn. I can face it down, or I can let it come get me. Those are my choices. Of the two, being the hunter is better than being the prey, yeah? If I hide and beg it not to eat me, it's still gonna eat me, and whoever else is around. I might as well fucking kill it, because that's the only way it's going to go away. His justice is our only chance, baby."

The matter of the cats only draws a sigh. "I fed them for you, you know."

"Can I be really honest? Like... Really, really honest." Andelena grins wickedly at Dolan. "I kind of think that's hot as shit. Your determination to see shit through. I mean, you know the world I come from. Men there are about as weak and limp-wristed as they get sometimes." Her father certainly comes to mind likely for them both. "The fact it's all in pursuit of the Knight's justice makes it all that sweeter."

She turns her head a little back in the direction of the couch. Yup. Spot is still there, her calico-splatched belly exposed to the world and practically begging for fingers to come and appreciate the work of art that's painted onto her fur coat. "I know you did. You love them too, fess up."

Andelena turns back to Dolan. "And as much as I'd love to make you stiff, I don't want to do anything that'll make the healers just give you more grief to work with."

Dolan's low chuckle is a mixture of guilty as charged and wickedness. "Damn, I'm glad you got out of that world and got to see what a real man does, baby. A real man cares about the innocents around him. That includes the creatures, too." He, too, turns his head to look at Spot, stretched out full length and sound asleep. Work of art it may be, but he knows full well what will happen if he touches it.

"As to that - yeah." Now his eyes lower, and the mobile half of his expression goes pensive. "I didn't exactly tell Lana I was bucking healer's orders going after Tel. I don't think it got any worse. Can't even promise I won't do it again," he sighs. "Best I just take it easy the next few days, yeah?"

"You did what you had to do, Bry," Andelena says gently, pushing her face against Dolan's and brushing her lips against his cheek. "You answered the call for justice. I don't begrudge that and I'm a healer myself, you know, and while that probably means I'm putting my pride in you over your safety, well.. I'm just... Proud of you. In so many ways."

She pulls back a little, enough so that she can look into his eyes, both artificial and real. There's the warmth of the steel that's only for him again. "You're a Corona of the Knight," she says. "A man of the light. A model for people to live by. You have morals. Convictions. Values that so many assholes back 'home' wouldn't know even if they read it in a book. Of course I want to fucking bang your brains out and have all of your kids, Bry. A man like you is hard to come by." Even as she says all the words in the softest of tones, she can't refrain from talking dirty.

That eye, the entire expression, melts entirely as Dolan gazes up at her. "For you? It's all worth it. I love you, Andie. You're so much more than you think you are. You stand right there with me, when I need you. I haven't always done that for you. But - I was wrong. You're worth it. I just - I hate the thought if you being in harm's way. If I can keep you out of that shit -"

He sighs, slowly. "I can't, though. We're both in the pool now, and I got us there. I'm just glad you decided to swim with me anyway." By now, he's leaning a good part of his weight on her. "I'm sorry, baby."

Before Andelena can even answer, there's a sigh that comes from a familiar voice that is, for the moment, mounted on the wall. "Have you ever considered, Brydion Donnelly, that Andelena wants to be a woman that you are proud of, too?" Deliverance asks. "Much in the same way that she's proud of the man that she is with, for he is a stalwart servant of the Knight and a man of brilliant character, she wishes to be worthy of you."

Andelena's eyes go into sort of that narrowed 'oh, my sword is talking again and saying big shit' expression that Bry is, by now, familiar with. But... she does nod. "Actually, yeah," she says. "Kind of have to agree with that. I... actually never thought of it that way. I just wanted to be by your side, Bry, even through all the shit." She rubs his back, closing her eyes and letting him lean into her. "I love you, baby. There's nothing to be sorry about, other than sorry that my bitch of a mother might be the reason we're in this mess to begin with. Is the reason we're in this mess to begin with."

Deliverance huffs. "I'll let you describe that woman in any way you like," she replies. That... appears to be a clearance for Andelena to swear in regards to her mother.

What?

The look that Dolan turns up at Andelena is one of utter bafflement that he even has to say such a thing. "You didn't know, Andie?" The remaining warm brown eye softens, and he spares the sword only the briefest of glances. "Baby, you've been my idol since we were kids. You're beautiful, you're strong, you care about people. You want to do what is right. You inspire me to do more than just kill. If I'm a better man, it's because you're here to make me one. Without you, I'd've just killed Kol. You guide me to do things according to His will. You remind me that His path is justice and compassion both. You're the most beautiful thing I could ever be."

Andelena looks very, very bashful for a moment with Dolan's astonishment. "I--No, I knew Bry," she begins at first. "I just. I..."

It's her turn to look a little downcast. "When you're told your whole life that, effectively, you're nothing more than a pawn for your mother to use on her chessboard--when there's not a damn thing you can do to make your own destiny and that you're going to end up in a hell you had no say in, sometimes, you believe it. Sometimes, I wonder if everything I've ever worked for is just... One long joke played at my expense, like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and I'm just a failure at being the strongest woman I can be. Because being strong was the exact opposite of what my mother wanted me to be. She wanted me to be as mindless and eager to please as anything so she could use me."

She takes a breath before she continues. "I didn't understand what being strong meant before I left the estate to go to the Temple. That's why when we met, I was just that... angry asshole of a girl. All I knew is that I was hurting and I didn't want to hurt anymore. I tried taking it out on other people, but I didn't like the way it made me feel. I didn't feel good. I only felt worse. And then... You came along, Bry. This kid who worshipped me. Looked up to me. Told me I was beautiful and strong, and..."

Tears actually brim up in her steel-grey eyes, and she smiles so warmly at Dolan. "I just want to be strong because I remember that kid. You're still that kid, like you said, in that way. I don't want you to worry about me. And you know, when we were in the dream together, before we took down Kol and we heard the voice of the Knight--that's when I knew. Really, really, really knew. Really did know that this, what we're working at together? I'm going to hold on so fucking tightly to what we have and we're going to be fucking invincible together, babe."

The washboard feeling that is Dolan's back as Andelena rubs at it is still weird. It's a hard thing to get used to, and harder still to look at. He stiffens now, as the touch lingers, and sighs, reaching up to wipe a tear away from that steel-gray eye. "I wish that didn't feel so damn weird," he mutters. "No, baby. It's no joke. I'm not invincible anymore. I was never as invincible as I thought we were. I - I just don't want to ever see your beauty be destroyed by these bastards. I won't let it."

He leans back into her, then. "I'm going to need that strength, baby. I can't do this without you. I've got your back. I won't let them hurt you. Just - remind me to stay that kid. The kid who just wants to do the right thing by people like his papa taught him. Just keep me out of the dark."

Andelena adjusts her hands so she's no longer rubbing his back, a clear response to his discomfort. "Sorry baby," she apologizes. "No, I understand. I... I feel the same way about you. I don't want them to take more from you. You've already sacrificed so much, been through so much. But we both know that protecting each other from everything is not an option at this point--just that dealing with it together is."

She's more than happy for him to lean into her again, and a hand finds its way into Dolan's hair, affectionately rubbing it in a way that she's done forever for him and him alone. The smile on her face widens as he wipes away her tears. "I will," she says softly. "I promise I will. You were part of the reason I pursued being a Sunguard so fervently, you know?"

Deliverance speaks up again in her motherly tones. "You are an anchor for each other," she says. "A lifeline to cling to in the abyss, when the forces of Evil are upon you and all that is there to keep them at bay are two servants of the Knight, in love with each other and in service of the Light. For all that I do to bolster Andelena in battle, Brydion--it is you who bolsters her soul and her heart."

"It's the only option I've got," Dolan murmurs against her shoulder. "The only option worth considering." He doesn't move, but relaxes as the back-rubbing stops. Some days he tolerates it, some days he doesn't, and some days he tolerates it for a little while and then wants it to stop. A mercurial thing, really. He doesn't move, then, leaning back against her shoulder, arms around her waist, and seems disinclined to move anywhere. Weariness is clearly settling in.

And then Deliverance speaks up. "Sweet and holy gods, I've got two mothers in law," he murmurs into her shoulder. "One's a demon-loving bitch, and the other one's a sword."

That is the moment where Andelena laughs, heartily. Her arms around him, she gives him the gentlest, most affectionate of squeezes. "Hey, at least the sword thinks you're a swell guy," she says. "And... she certainly understands me better than my own mother does."

She kisses Dolan on the cheek. "You're tired, baby. Let's get you into bed. I can move Patches out of the way for you." That usually means holding Patches long enough so Dolan settles in, and... Well, letting her settle in next to him once she's brought back down to the bed. Because she inevitably chooses Dolan.

"The other one can go get fucked." Dolan murmurs, snuggling into that shoulder more at the kiss on the cheek. "The sword's got it right, though. We're each other's anchor when shit gets real. Any woman strong enough to be my anchor is an amazing lady. There's only one of those, mind." He sighs, and straightens up a little. "You ready to cuddle up for a nap, baby?" he asks hopefully.

"After what you been through? Covered in the blood of evildoers? I'm expecting you're wanting more than a nap and more like a good night's rest." Andelena grins. "That means I won't play with you."

She does let go of Dolan. But then she takes his hand, and she grins wickedly at him. "Too much, that is. I know a couple of ways for fun that don't involve your shoulder. And it'll help you sleep better."

Despite Dolan's weariness, a wicked grin to match hers spreads across the mobile half of his features, and tugs at the scarring. "Yeah? You about ready for that statue, then?" He lets her keep his hand, and follows her into the bedroom, the door closing behind them with a soft click.

The cleanup can wait - and so can sleep.