In which there is a private talk

Cryosanthia follows Zeke into the Temple of Daeus. She is for the most part, staring at the floor or his tail. She does look up and gaze at one of the Dragons of Light, watching the manalamp as she approaches, passes, then leaves it. Otherwise she's silent.

Then, the two sith are in a small stone room. She feels her shoulders tense involuntarily as she enters. Memories, and a too strong inhale of breath. There are stools, she sits on one. It is a hunched forward posture, very sloped. Not uncommon for some of the people, but rare for her. She reaches behind, into the haversack, takes out something wrapped up. "Candied Cricket?" She holds it out towards Zeke.

Zeke paces into the center of the room and then stops. Like her he seems uncomfortable in the space, but he is also determined. Determined to not be afraid. Though nervousness is something which he can not avoid nor control completely. He rejects Cryosanthia's offer of a snack with a slightly raised claw and a shake of his head. "No." Softly spoken as his eyes trace over the female. "Thisss one mussst apologize. It wasss wrong of thisss one to leave with ssso little warning. To leave you alone. It sssshould not have been done in sssuch a way."

"It hurt a lot Zeke, I wasn't expecting it. It was a shock." She looks up and at him, to meet his eyes. Her words are quiet but it's clear they are true. Cryo exhales slowly, watching him move, the nervousness in those motions. "It made me think a lot of horrible things. I understand why you had to go away..."

She unwraps her candied bug, puts it in her mouth, there is a crunch as she eats it.

"Are we meant to be together or is it a thing she made happen for her own ends?"

The blue-scaled sith finally sits, not wanting to loom over Cryosanthia in any way, or make her further uncomfortable. They aren't sitting very close, but they're not really that far away from one another either. "Thisss one can not know for scertain, but thisss one thinksss that ssshe meant for usss to be together. That sssshe would not have put usss together otherwissse. Ssshe meant for you to have feelingsss for thisss one... and then ssshe meant to make thisss one Forgotten. Perhapsss ssshe thought thisss one would eat you. That you would ssslay your hatchling, and then die at the handsss of your mate. It sssoundsss to thisss one like ssssomething ssshe would do."

"I'm sorry she put you through that. I could not have fought you, if she had succeeded." Cryosanthia says, looking over as Zeke sits, looking at his face, his horns. "Are we just the leftover pieces of her backup plan? I have feelings for you, so I will kill Menel, you have feelings for me, so you will also if I fail, we both were her hopeful experiment?"

She exhales, curling her tail around her ankles, "the feelings are not lies, but it could have been anyone? Any sith female would do? Any male would do? We are just... the best opportunity?"

"My worst thought is we just another way to attack Seldan, like the Demon attacks him through Malik, or She does directly by his Mother." Her hands curl, uncurl. She puts her left glove back on, just because. "I don't want to make you unhappy, Zeke. I don't want to be this thing you're stuck with because she put us in the same room for years. I don't like feeling... the being playful and friendly caused all this hurt and keeps causing it."

Zeke shakes his head. "We both went through our trialsss there. Ssshe tormented usss both. Made usss both her pawnssss. Perhapsss we are merely toolsss to ussse againssst another. Againssst any-one. We can not know her plan. We can only act on what we do know." He looks at Cryosanthia seriously. "Do not think that ssshe could have chosssen /any/ female Cryosssanthia. Not any female would have chosssen thisss one assss you did. Not any female would have loved a ssoft-ssskinned child asss her own. Thessse thingsss are yoursss. Perhapsss... it could have been another male. Sssomeone who would have ssserved you better, but then he might be Forgotten now."

Zeke looks at the floor. Knowing in his way that it was his faith and hope that kept him from becoming something terrible. "Ssshe chossse thisss one becaussse you did. That thisss one isss sssure of. And we can not change thessse thingsss now. Only... now we mussst chossse what to do nexst."

"Those... are thoughts that did not occur to me." Cryosanthia admits, "Except... the one where I am at fault and brought you into this. That you suffered because of my choices. Thisss one doesss not want to hurt you Zeke. Thisss one keepss doing ssso, in big and sssmall waysss..."

"I don't know what to do Zeke. I had a dream, a wonderful dream. You came to me and the Dragonfather was on your vestments, and then it was like he was alive and came off them, and then you were him, and you took my hand... and you took..." Her breathing becomes very hard, she's tense. Her left hand keeps opening and closing, inside her glove.

"It's whatever you want to do... stay apart... stay friends... stay... work to stay..." Her scents are suppressed, and her throat keeps clenching, there are calls she wants to be making. Cryo is trying to minimize it all, hide everything she's feeling to avoid some kind of instinctive influence, "Whatever you want Zeke."

"Thisss one regrestsss no-thing Cryossanthia. Not a moment of it." Zeke's voice is gentle, he's looking at her now. Softly. "That thisss one could be there for you, to tend to your pain and bear ssssome of it... wasss a blesssing to thisss one. Thisss one isss glad of it."

He ducks his head slightly. "The Dragonfather comesss in many guissesss, thiss one isss honored that He would choosse thisss one to make you feel comforted in Hisss presscensss." Zeke lets out a soft breath and looks up again. "Do you love thissss one Cryosssanthia? Do you want for a cihuaa that lovesss you asss a mate might? Not sssimply in valuing your life above theirsss, but alssso... in love."

"Yes Zeke, yes." Cryosanthia's breaths come with difficulty, her hands are trembling. She is watching, intently, focused on the bluescale, then her voice breaks and there is a sad warbling noise underneath all her words, "I want you and I am bad for you and I make all these mistakes and I keep hurting you, and you keep saying... and I've been... and I... the whole month staying away because it's better for you when I... every night I'm alone and thinking about you... and I'm losing you and I don't know what to do....."

Her moan happens, despiste her efforts to prevent it, a cry on an instinctive level as if she's mourning not just an absent mate, but a dead one. A call she doesn't expect will be answered: come to me; I need you now.

Zeke chokes, clutches his arms around himself. To keep from answering that call. A call that instinct demands he answer. "Thisss one isss not dead Cryosssanthia! Thisss one... Isss right here." He looks at her half frantically, then looks away. Hides his face. His scents are a confused mess. "Thisss one isss not sssure that thisss one can be what you want of thisss one. Thisss one would do any-thing for you. Would give life and memory and self for you. Hasss done. But it isss not enough."

Cryo's scents are not much better, a mess, strong with desperation and despair. Her words aren't stringing together all that well either, "I see you but I need to feel... like in the dream... so it will all be better... take my... " Her hands are open, but she doesn't reach.

Then the thought she asks too much, sinks in, drags her down. That after all Zeke has done, willingly and because of her choices, she still finds it not enough. That thought crushes her too. She falls silent, her scents for the most part, stops. She stares, breathes.

"This one should go. This one apologizes for imposing needs."

Zeke looks at her, his eyes hurt and he shakes his head. "Thisss one hass learned sssomething of cihuaa. Of what that can be of late." His voice is still soft. "You sssay 'I'. A ssssoft-sskin word. You sssay 'sssorry'. But you do not sssay... 'Zeke are you well'? 'Zeke, what do you need'?"

Zeke looks down. "Thisss one doess not need for you to go. Thisss one doess not need for you to sssay 'sssorry'. Thessse thingsss are unnecesssary." He uncomfortably tucks his tail around himself. He shakes his head and rises slowly to his feet. "You want for thisss one, you need thisss one... And sssso thisss one will alwaysss be there for you. But thisss one doesss not think that you love thisss one. Ssso thisss one will go. You sstay Cryosssanthia. You need to find peasssce for yourssself."

Cryosanthia watches Zeke as he speaks, listening. When he finishes, she looks away, looks down. Words are not within her grasp, so she says nothing. Instead, his words circle in her mind, over and over she reviews them, finding no responses, perhaps only truths. She retreats further and further inside, even the room fades away after a time. She hasn't moved in so long her eyes gave up seeing it. She stays, and there is no peace here for her.

Zeke pauses, he will not leave her when she is obviously distressed, and she is. An urgent meeting grows near, for the both of them. She does not respond and he does not go.

-End