Giant Pink Hips

"I declare this absolutely canon."

-Lahar

-=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=-<* Whirlpool's Room of Doom *>-=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=-

This great meadow rests between two forests. The heady oaks on either side occasionally rustle their branches, as kindly grandfathers looking down upon their grandchildren. Amid the meadow, faerie-elves dance, their giant hips swaying with the breezes and causing miniature earthquakes as they giggle and prance about the place.

"I do so love to hug everyone!" one enthuses. And before too long? They've broken into song, a perfect rainbow arcing out of nowhere and suddenly above them!

"I love you, you love me, we're a..."

And on and on it goes, the precious song of laughter and light spiraling upwards towards a perfect blue sky.

And then, a bluebird flies by.

And poops on you.

Channel: WhirlChan

Add: addcom wc=WhirlChan

Cheat Sheet: http://bit.ly/pnmTow

-=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=-- Contents --=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=-

Gragnar Bludball Hooligan, who could probably take the player 9s 7h

Jessa Halfing cleric with a massive personality 27s 48m

Lahar A bumbly, four-legged beagle. 0s 6h

Svarshan Be a brightscale! Chomp a demon! 29s 6h

Sandy The HIPpest elf ever. Practically a HIPpy. 6m 21h

-=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=-- Objects =--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=-

Timestop: Whirlpool's Room of Doom(#781I)

-=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--= Exits -=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=-

Out <O>

-=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=-

Jibbom has arrived.

"Oh, my!" one of the elves says, spinning. "I do so love to hug things! Don't you like to hug things, Sandy?"

"Yes! Hugging is so nice!" Svarshan enthuses as he prances in. He wears a top hat and suit, in honor of Happy Leaf Boat day, which this totally is.

"I AM LOUD AND HAVE AN UWARRANTED HIGH OPINION OF MYSELF!" Shrieks Jibbom as he prances in.

"I am equally loud and slightly more warranted in my high opinion! Also, violent and destructive!" Gragnar says as he strides in, pounding on his chest.

"I secretly think every last one of you is an idiot and can only survive daily existance in Alexandria through heavy imbibing of alcohol." That's why Jessa has a mai tai in hand. And a tray full of them behind her.

"I wish I was as pretty as elf," sighs Svarshan. He looks to Jibbom, "At least you have a flawless, fair complexion!" Sigh. "Elves are so perfect! Sandy says so all the time!"

"I DO!" sings Sandy, as she dances in. "And I am the most PERFECT OF THEM ALL!"

"I can't see past your hips, Sandy. Could you stop that? Dont touch the alcohol." Jessa's drinks have lots of umbrellas. And fruit.

"Hello!" says Sandy. "It is a wonderful day, and I want to give you all hugs! Hurricane Sandy, Hurricane of Hugs!!" She pouts at Jessa. "You never let me have any fun!"

"HELLO SANDY! ARE WE MARRIED YET? OR ARE YOU GOING TO STUFF ME IN ANOTHER BARREL AND/OR ALTERNATE DIMENSION?" Jibbom shouts before having a humorous pratfall for no reason whatsoever.

"Check the barrel for Donk first!" Gragnar bellows, stealing one of Jessa's drinks and very daintly sipping from the glass, pinky extended.

"Oh! My loving and bethrothed!"

Sigh. "He has such perfect, flawless skin!" sighs Svarshan. AGAIN. "HOW I WISH I WAS AN ELF!"

"Elves are perfect!" tee hee's Sandy. "Come to my arms, brave Jibbom!"

"Seriously. I hate all of you." Jessa glares at Gragnar.

Jibbom prances towards Sandy, arms thrown open wide. Tragically, his continuing comical stumbles impede his ability to move towards her.

Svarshan goes to plop down beside Jessa! "I wish we were elves," he sighs. And helps himself to JEssa's booze!

Emir has arrived.

"I do not wish to be a giant freak." Jessa slaps Svarshan's hand.

Gragnar extends the pinky harder. "You are pink and tiny," he says warmly to Jessa, and pats them on the head. "But you're not a chav." He looks to Sandy, then back to Jessa. "Perhaps a ride on da elf's hips will cheer da littlekin up?"

"Oh my! Wait, I have just remembered...Jibbom, my love! My heart belongs now to Gragnar! His devilish, manly scowl..." she sighs, her heart obviously a flutter. Nearby, trees bend near Jibbom to show their distress! "Surely you understand!"

"Please. Everyone takes rides on Sandy." Jessa nods serenely.

"Ow!" says Svarshan, and frowns at JEssa. "I don't know why I'm talking all smart like this, but it is no reason for you to hit me on the head! Wait!" his eyes go round. "Hitting people is a means of courtship among my people. WIFE!" and he picks Jessa up, HUGGING HER.

"We are bethrothed!" he howls to the world. Randomly, bluebirds burst into song!

"I am the happiest man ever," Svarshan enthuses, as Sandy continues to moon after Gragnar. "I'm sorry, Jibbom...it...it could just never work out!

"You never scowl!"

Gragnar looks at Jibbom, shrugs dismissively, and raises the pinky as high as he can on the glass. Classy!

Jibbom shakes his fist at the heavens. "This will not stand! I will list my made up titles and mostly fictional accomplishments at you until our love is rebuilt!"

"He's soooo sophisticated," enthuses Sandy. "AND he scowls!" She promptly dons a Princess Leia outfit and sits at Gragnar's feet.

Svarshan continues to hug Jessa. "Jibbom feels so left out," he says to his new wife sadly. And then brightens, "Oh! I know...we could marry him off to Emir! Then he would be happy FOREVER!"

Gragnar begins speaking Yrch, which sounds a lot like "Ooba dooba Solo, chooka hooka Wookie."

Jibbom says, "I demand all the wives, for I have unreasonably high ideas about my desireability as a marriage partner!"

"..." Jessa starts to frantically kick at Svarshan. "Does this mean we are divorced now?"

"Emir is kind of girly," Svarshan adds thoughtfully. "Jibbom would like that. And you could perform the ceremony!" to Jessa.

"Kicking just means you love me more," he says, grandly!

Emir is a pretty, pretty princess, and would be happily betrothed to Jibbom any time!

"I think it means you are super married," Gragnar says to Jessa, then turns back to his new girlfriend. "Together, we shall lift massively heavy things, and torment floofy people."

Jibbom says, "EVERYONE IS MARRIED TO EVERYONE! I DECLARE IT!"

"Hooray!" says Sandy, and adjusts her outfit. "It makes my skin look even more flawless than before!"

"That means when you all forget my birthday? You are REALLY in trouble. I am very high maintenance." Jessa goes back to the Maitais.

Jibbom says, "ESPECIALLY YOUR MASSIVE, MASSIVE HIPS!"

Svarshan happily hugs Jessa. "We are the most happy face-punchers EVAR!"

Emir says, "HOORAY! I love marriage!" Emir flings flower petals, and sparkles merrily. "What a joyous occasion!"

"Very massive," Gragnar agrees, loudly, patting Sandy happily on the back while her hips knock a small model village from a table.

"I told you it would make him happy," Svarshan says happily to Jessa. "You are the most wonderful, delicate-flower-petal-snarling-teeth wife ever!"

"Hooray!" says Sandy. And, "I love my Princess outfit!" And then her hips knock over a small model village. "Oops," she says, demurely.

"I really am. All of you should BE so lucky to be married to me." Jessa is as modest as Jibbom, essentially.

"I am the luckiest man in the world," Svarshan sighs. And then Jessa punches him in the face! This just means she loves him more and forever and ever.

Jibbom says, "I give the wonderous gift of my marriage to all the ladies! And ladylikes. So Emir gets it too."

"He is not lady like!" Gragnar declares. "He has no hips!"

"Please. Jibbom is not good enough to have me as a wife," Jessa sniffs.

"Don't fight!" says Sandy, in horror, "It ruins your perfect complexions!"

"We'll leave him for Sandy. With those hips, she cant be picky." Jessa nods knowingly.

"Do not compare him to Sandy!" Jibbom shouts at Gragnar. "No one could have hips so massive! NO ONE!"

"Your hips are barge-like and perfect, too, Jessa!" Svarshan says, loyally! He is so loyal. To Jibbom, "I challenge you to a duel! In honor of Jessa's hips!"

Jessa snorts. "I am much better looking than Sandy."

Jibbom says, "So be it! As the challenged party, I choose the weapons. I choose... prop comedy!"

Gragnar finds a telescope, and then attempts to find Jessa's hips.

"They are also barge-like! And huge! Just like Sandy's! WE WILL DUEL AS GENTLEMAN OVER THE SIZE OF OUR WOMEN'S HIPS." Svarshan looks stern as he brandishes his whizz-spinner-galindoo! "THIS IS VERY SERIOUS!"

Emir puts his hands on his hips "I have hips enough!" And to demonstrate he sashays. Sort of badly.

Svarshan attempts to look very intimidating and puffs out his chest at Jibbom! And then blinks. "Emir has hips! And they are so womanly!" he swoons. "Jessa, I fear I must leave you!"

And there goes another model village.

Somewhere, someone is playing Shakira.

"I shall console myself with booze and dancing boys. It is fine." Jessa is a-ok.

Svarshan looks mournfully at Jessa before prancing over towards Emir-the-barge-hipped. "Look after her for me, Jibbom!"

Jibbom says, "I look after all the ladies! And the ladylikes!"

Emir sashays to Svar and pats his scaley head. "It's okay! We can be one big happy hippy family!" Beam!

"Hooray!" says Svarshan. "You have the most wonderful hips!"

"But what about meeee!" wails Sandy. And she sniffs. "It's my complexion, isn't it?" :(

"Always," boozes Jessa.

Sandy promptly bursts into tears!

Gragnar hugs Sandy in her Leia outfit, resting his drink on her hips. "It's okay, you're still pretty, pinky!"

Jibbom says, "Yay for giant pink hips!"